Autumn Well being Newsletter

Autumn 2020 Newsletter

Welcome to the Autumn edition of my Well Being Newsletter!

It is a bit later than planned as time just moves too fast sometimes for me to keep up. I hope all of you are doing well and are coping with the constant changes Covid 19 is putting upon our families and us.

The nights are starting to draw in and when the clocks change in a few weeks this will be even more noticeable. Some people love autumn, others do not like it.

Life as a counsellor has changed so much for me, who would have thought that last year the coming year would be changed so dramatically. My main personal work challenge has been around going on video. For somebody who does not like being on camera it was a challenge which was over won and now I can see the advantages as well as disadvantages of this type of work. If you feel like me about online counselling please do not worry as you will be able to manage this. If there are issues you are currently struggling with, please do get in touch.

There is comfort in being in your own home and in your own surroundings which may help make this easier for you. With Covid still out there, not having to go out to see a counsellor may be helpful for some of you. I am still doing face to face counselling in Chinnor too if you feel you want to see a counsellor in this way.

Please keep an eye on my website as well as my Facebook page as I am there supporting you as much as I can. Like my page on:

https://www.facebook.com/adleriancounselling/?ref=bookmarks

Please find below 3 tips for the coming weeks.

  1. Be kind: How often do you find yourself berating yourself for something that was a simple mistake? ‘I am stupid’, ‘You are useless’, ‘Why do I keep doing that wrong! I must be an idiot’. All these may be what you use in every day life to punish yourself for something simple.

This is not helpful. When you find yourself saying hurtful things to yourself again, stop and think about what you are saying/doing. Would you speak this way to your best friend? Highly unlikely I guess. Taking care of yourself does not just involve eating well, sleeping enough and taking regular exercise, it also means to be kind to yourself. Nurture yourself in whichever way it desires. Take time out to rest and recharge your batteries, there is nothing to feel guilty or selfish about, it helps you be more patient and kinder to others if you are feeling better in yourself.

  1. Find your priorities:

It is possible to go through life without understanding what your priorities are. It’s just not likely you’ll enjoy your life living this way. Take the time to sit down and outline where you want to be in 5 years….10 years…20 years. Map out what routes you need to take to get to these points in time the way you want to.

  1. Do what brings you joy:

How do you spend your time? How should you spend your time? These questions are basic ones, but we must ask them. Ultimately, we tend to ignore time management. Even though the way we spend our time heavily influences our happiness. You’re in a rut and you don’t have the energy to make a change. You don’t care, but you’re missing out on the best things life can offer. Instead of spending the afternoon golfing with a friend, you sit inside and wish life was better. Rather than meeting up with a friend for a bite to eat you make a sandwich at home and feel sorry for yourself. Time is precious, yes, but we often don’t spend it as wisely as we could. It can be difficult finding activities, events, and people that truly bring joy. How can you do that? Here’s how.

  • Fast forward 10 years…

Worthwhile activities are activities that last. Think about what you do now. Of them, what can you imagine yourself still doing a decade from now? What can you do now and still do later in life? What do you think will bring you joy for years to come?

  • Leave your comfort zone…

Activities that force you out of your comfort zone and stretch you are going to bring you joy. We get bored easily, especially when something becomes too easy or too comfortable. You will find joy in the activities that make you learn and grow. These are the activities that leave you feeling fulfilled.

  • Lost in a daze…

Are there activities that keep you involved for hours on end? You know, the things that prevent you from spending too much time on your phone or on the internet. The activities that are so involved you almost forget to eat. Activities that provide joy tend to be meaningful to you or fill you with purpose.

  • Long-term rewards…

You should invest your energy into activities that give back. That requires a bit of long-term thinking. While there may be activities that seem rewarding, they don’t seem as attractive when you fast forward five years. Other activities might seem tough right now but have long-term rewards. Pace yourself, figure out what activity will be worth your while over the long-term.

  • Fulfillment…

In the end, what you have to decide is what activities bring you true joy and happiness. Often, the activities that result in enjoyment and achievement are those that we want to spend more time on. That may mean focusing more on your family. It might mean focusing on physical pursuits or perhaps emotional or mental pursuits. We are all unique, which means that we all need to find activities that truly speak to us. How do you enjoy spending your time? What brings you joy?

Some inspiration for you for the forthcoming weeks: ‘If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one’ – Dolly Parton, award-winning singer, songwriter, artist, actress, and businesswoman  

Keep safe everybody.

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