Counsellor Newsletter

Spring 2020

Welcome to the Spring edition of my Well Being Newsletter filled with updates, information, and support for all my past and present clients.

Nobody was expecting the year to start with the corona virus which is spreading like wildfire all over the world at the moment. The NHS is trying hard to protect staff whilst still providing patients with a caring service, but it is tough at the moment.

Unfortunately, due to this I had to make the difficult decision to suspend all client sessions. The surgery is trying to reduce the number of people coming into the surgery. In my role as receptionist and administration I have never in all my years at the surgery have seen anything like this. A lot of us are being asked to work from home and they are reducing appointments as well as doing more on the phone or video.

I have investigated options to enable me to help you online and can offer some limited spaces for this. Please contact me by text or email if this may be of interest to you and I can send you further information on this. These appointments will be in the late afternoon/evening. You will just need an application called Zoom as this is encrypted unlike some other applications. If you have a camera we can do this through video link, if not we can always chat just through audio if you do not have a camera. Please request more information if this is something you would like.

In this difficult time, if you suffer with anxiety and depression these mental health issues can make life even more difficult for you now. Some anti-depressant medication also seems to be in short supply, and I am aware people are suffering and need more tools to be able to help themselves even more so now.

Please keep an eye on my website as well as my Facebook page as I am there supporting you as much as I can. I am looking to provide you with some tools and help which you can use in this difficult time. You can always post a question or private message if you are struggling with anything. If time allows, I am putting together some self-help courses/digital workbooks/digital journals which you can work through online to help you work through anxieties, depression, self-esteem issues. The first product is now out for purchase. It consists of 20 full colour, laminated cards on a key ring you can take anywhere with you to help with anxiety. Check it out in my life coaching shop: www.mirellafoxlifecoaching.co.uk/shop.

If you are on Facebook, please like my page to see updates on articles:

https://www.facebook.com/adleriancounselling/?ref=bookmarks

Please find below 3 tips for the coming weeks.

1. Communication: This is extremely important in relationships with others. When you speak to your children or partners, try to remember to use an I messages. I messages provide feedback safely, as they avoid putdowns, judgment or assigning blame. There are three parts to these messages: 1. Describing the behaviour, 2. The feeling the behaviour creates, 3. The effect that the behaviour has. A description of the behaviour is necessary to inform the person what the problem is. This should always be included in the message otherwise they will not know what behaviour to change. Including either of the other two types (how it makes you feel and what the effect is) will normally be sufficient to communicate the problem effectively.

   An I-message states the behaviour and describes the speaker’s feelings (numbers 1 and 2 above). The speaker owns their feelings without coming across as judging the person. It promotes a willingness to exchange information, find a solution and to seek a constructive change in the situation. Rarely does this make matters worse. I-messages are delivered by saying: ‘I feel … (name the feeling) when … (describe the behaviour)’. For example, you might say, ‘I feel angry when I am expecting a ride home and am forgotten.’
   Some other examples of I-messages are:
   I feel angry when people call me names.

I feel hurt when no one asks what I want to do.

I feel suspicious when someone tells me one thing, then I find out they are doing another.

 

2. Meditation:

Take some time out every day, even if it is only for short periods at first to be present in the here and now. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on breathing in and out deeply and slowly. Empty your mind of all thoughts and just sit in peace and quiet to help quiet your mind and body. Thoughts will come to you whilst you are doing this but just push them away and stay focused on your breathing and staying in the calm state. This takes practise, but it is worthwhile practising as you will get better at this and it will help you find some of that quiet in a busy, crazy world.

3. Natural Remedies:

I am not a specialist at this, but from reliable sources I know that certain tea blends can help with stress. Some examples would be peppermint tea, chamomile tea, rose bud tea and lavender tea. If you suffer with depression, St John’s Wort is an herbal remedy which may help you. Always check with your regular doctor before starting any remedies in case they interfere with your usual medication. Lavender spray may help you in the bedroom if you suffer from insomnia. Spray some in the room or on your pillow and it may help you. These are just a couple of ideas, there is an eBook I have on herbal remedies which I will put out for purchase in the next few weeks. Watch this space.

 

Some inspiration for you for the forthcoming weeks: No matter what you are going through, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This too shall pass.

Keep safe everybody.